Probably one of the most difficult situation for manager of a family owned business is when the need arises for you to give a friend or family member negative feedback, put them on a performance plan, or discipline them. So how do we keep things from getting personal? Here are four tips to help you get though those difficult conversations.
- Be honest and timely. You might be tempted to put off this impending responsibility, but putting off the inevitable is just going to cause you more anxiety. It’s better off if you confront this situation honestly and quickly.
- Prepare. The best way to make sure that this conversation goes as smoothly as possible is to prepare ahead of time:
- Review the details: Why exactly are you having this talk? Have you noticed the quality of their work has suffered lately? Have other employees registered complaints? Is this about a specific incident that was reported? Have your facts straight and have several examples ready (if applicable). The more information you have, the easier it will be to keep your dialogue focused on work.
- Have an objective for your conversation. What is your desired outcome to this conversation? Do you need to get them to sign a Performance Improvement Plan? Do you need to make sure they understand certain feedback? Knowing this ahead of time will help you to keep the meeting on track.
- Do not tell anyone else, besides your own manager and/or HR about this talk, especially not your mutual friends or family. One way to make this situation worse is discussing it with people that you both know. Imagine how you would feel if you found out that everyone you work with knew about a problem you were having at work and talking about it behind your back? If your friend or family member wants to talk to others about it after your conversation is over, leave that decision up to him or her.
- Be direct, professional and empathetic. Remember, not only are they receiving negative feedback or disciplinary action, but they might feel even worse knowing that their friend AND boss is disappointed. Stay on task and be professional. If you start to feel the conversation is getting too personal, remember your objective. Be sympathetic, but don’t let it keep you from accomplishing your goal before ending the conversation.
- End the conversation once your objective has been achieved. Don’t drag on the meeting, which is likely to make you both uncomfortable. Resist the urge to apologize to them or nag them about how they are feeling. Let them be in charge of their own next steps.